Irreplaceable

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Oh here I go back in this screwy place I’d been before all over again

Tracing the path you left in me with marks that were still so clear.

All of the stories we’ve made were telling me it won’t work out, dear,

And it will just drip me off with such a pain.

But I keep walking and walking

Knowing, believing and hoping

For I don’t care, I just keep on going

Taking every step, it’s like I’m dashing

Clearing off the pace like I’m hunting

Fearlessly breaking the walls like I’m crashing

I just can’t help, you’re all I’m missing

Draft patterns I see, it’s you...reflecting

Words in my head, it’s your name screaming

It’s hard for me, you’re all I’m thinking

This damn stupid things screwed me up.

Grasping for that big sigh, raising with my eyebrows up.

I just laugh it out myself ‘coz I really just can’t resist you.

My gosh! What the hell it is that I’m just so into you?

What’s Your Love Language?

yogamodern.com

People have different ways in giving love, as well as in receiving it. Some shows love by giving stuffs like chocolates and flowers, some expresses their love by ringing up that someone just to tell them “I love you.” Some feels that they are loved if someone hugs them. Some feels the love if someone is simply just always right besides them. So, the question is...how will you know if it’s love?  

Have you heard the languages of love? Yeah, love do speaks in different languages and we need to brood over it. As we all know, love is an action word and it needs communication (verbal/non-verbal) and so...it needs a language. Love is just like a usual convo wherein, both the giver and the receiver of the message need to have that common language for mutual understanding.  Well, what are these love languages then??? According to Dr. Gary Chapman, there are five (5) languages of love, it’s written down there:

1)      Words of affirmation

2)      Quality time

3)      Receiving gifts

4)      Acts of service

5)      Physical touch

Hmmm...so what ya think is yours??? I have a quizzer in here Love Language Test  I already took this one and its fun. Honestly, I wasn’t that so surprised on the result of this quizzer ‘coz I got the gist on how it should be...well, it’s based on psychological study and I knew it’s so me. Now speak with me...what ‘ya think is mine? Whoops...I don’t know if my closest ones knew my love language hehe. I guess, they’re the one who would gonna be surprised anyway. So...you can let your friends, family and that special someone, anyone you love, to take this quizzer also so you will know his/her love language. Checked it out and see what love language you’re speaking. You can also go over this site from Dr. Chapman and know more about this 5lovelanguagesDrChapman.

An Open Letter from a Wishing Star

bnarchives.yorku.ca

This is not a heart break letter. Don’t worry. Nothing to break, ‘cause we? ------ No Commitment. Just issues.

Honestly, I don’t know how to start this. What words to choose, what paragraph to compose. Technically, I’m not good in writing.

The whole ride was totally fun! It was memorable, full of what ifs, full of smiles. And I know, I may have that fun in my life again, I know this is better for everyone involved.

       I feel total guilt about the disrespect I have shown to you, to her, and especially to myself. It’s time for me to step-up to the plate and quite acting like I don’t know the difference between GOOD and BAD.

My thoughts: “If you really want to love her, then you shouldn’t be messing around me. You should put all your time and effort into giving your relationship the attention it needs. And you can’t do that if I’m here. “

        My eyes have been opened. We BOTH deserve more, and it’s clear neither of us will find it in one another. Giving up doesn’t always mean you are weak; sometimes it means that you are strong enough to let go.

           

        I’m gonna smile like nothing’s wrong. Pretend that everything’s all right and act like it’s all perfect. Love was the greatest gift we have received, yet Love also brings the greatest pain we have to endure.

           

        One day when we least expect it, we will find that thingsare less painful. I was and will be forever amazed at how much my heart can bear. And yes, you and I will be grateful for all that we have lost and for all the things that we will find, in the RIGHT TIME.

      “Each night I put my head to my pillow, SMILE and telling myself I’m strong because another day has ended without YOU.”

It Still Hurts

www.purpleclover.com

There are times that we would never thought that it still hurts, even though we are happy knowing the person we loved before were already committed with someone else. I got one story, and it goes like this:

                Holding my phone, I browse over the web, read updates from social media networks, clicking some likes and dragging down for more...then accidentally my eyes flicker over that post. Uh-oh, he got some updates. Got to pause awhile, checking that I’m not getting a false alarm. Bump! There it goes, “In a Relationship”. I switched off my phone and make up my mind. Got a sigh---a big sigh. Gosh, I’m happy for him, but I just can’t understand, why the hell do I feel such pain? Can’t deny - I get hurt, OMG, it still hurts.

                C'mon what happened??? Well, I came to realize what people mostly say “The value of a person is more appreciated when they’re gone” and it sucks me.

It’s Complicated

You know what? You may find it so insane, but this always comes to my mind. Mostly, guys, these days just wanna have fun. It’s so true right? When it comes to love, it’s a game. When it comes to relationships, it’s complicated. Errr, they’re such a dense. Sorry this sounds so mean. But, why they prefer to get into that damn complicated relationship then? Why do they love playing games? A game that says...whoever falls in love first will lose or a hide & seek scenario. C’mon such a freak! Well, I still understand them anyway, it’s a guy thing though, and it’s their nature. I know playing games is fun & should be enjoyed. There are rules also to be obeyed. I know also that in the end, there should someone to win but the real point is...it’s more of a win-win situation wherein both opponent gain. It’s the reward...the lessons & experience. Every girl knows that of course. Hmmm, but in this kind of relationships---taking such chances by trying, playing with feelings, enjoying the waves of every moment until such time wherein it goes off beyond the limits. Damn...this is sickenin’. It should not be that way. I hope guys should take in control over every action they’re taking in. Guys should know how to stop it. Guys should know how to close the door that very moment, on the first step they risk in opening it. Girls do are kinda weak when it comes to feelings that’s why most guys do take advantage of it. Girls also have that powerful instinct and very well in reading body languages. So every action a guy makes might be misinterpreted.

Having entered into a complicated relationship is easy & smooth at first, but as time goes by, it’s getting harder & harder until it breaks. Especially when that relationship is not getting into the right track as it goes by; when you feel it’s gonna work no more; when there’s only one who’s willing to continue building it; when beforehand, it’s complicated already & both of you just wanna try. Then when it gets worse, you got nothing to do but to shout it out, just to release the pain, the hatred that burdens you so much. I know there are few who make this relationship work, but honestly, I know you do know too...it really takes so much pain before you gain from it. It’s riskier ‘coz you don’t know where it’s leading. There’s no plan at all.  It’s a take it or leave it situation. It’s not really an ideal move by a gentle guy. Every girl wants to be treated as they should be, as a real girl, as a lady, as a woman and guys should always be aware of it.

Awkward Moment

That moment when you’re thought whispers “I like him”, and it feels so damn awkward at the same time. That moment when you used to be so silent coz you’re unable & uncomfortable to speak. That moment when you keep staring at him & suddenly takes off your gaze when he looks back. That moment when you feel conscious with your actions, you used to hide all your jittery inside. Hey, you know what??? Take a note of this one, you used to know each other in words...but for real...gosh its kinda blow off. I don’t get it, a part of me knows how to deal with it but still, it’s just I’m that Ms. KnowItAll. He kicked off my gawkiness by a nudge. Wow ugh, that’s a nice start, I think. So I should act the usual way, Isn’t it? How come I couldn’t?  

How come I’d been trap with that awkwardness? Oh! C’mon, that very moment could give it a shot. It’s a “don’t be a kill joy, go with flow and just enjoy” chance. This is so sickenin’, you know, I got nothing to do but to hush it up & take control over what I should have to, to take control the feelings bursting over me, to just let it happen & be blown by the wind. I understand that he’s been cautious over his actions ‘coz he’s guard off with his group of friends who knows nothing about us beeping up each other a long while. Honestly, there’s nothing to worry over things going on that very moment, coz it’s so typical. All I want is to know him a bit more, coz his cool, his funny and one more thing...he’s cute. At first, I didn’t notice, but as I get closer, OMG...he really is. Don’t you dare to smile even more, I’m gonna fly shhhhh. Anyway, on my way until it’s over, I always think of this so damn crap...errr. I can’t help it? Whatta freak. Dunno what to do? Please somebody let me stop this. I know everything of that moment is a Certified Awkward Affair ever.

Fab Feb

Ohh, it’s Feb again...Valentine’s Day’s comin’ again. I remember last year, V-day was just a typical day and nothing seemed to be special ‘ya know...I’m single. Anyway...that day sounds to be cliché. It falls on weekends...so it’s a TGIF kind of my usual night out. I gotta beep on my friends of course. Ooosh, I didn’t expect to have various invites. I came up with two groups to mingle with. One friend brought her friends...gals of course. So I gain sort of new people to befriend. We sang all night. They’re bubbly and funny. Errr crazy crap...LOL! The other one are my close friends, so I had to be there for a missed-clubbing-thing I’d craved for so long. Almost AM after that ludicrous songs, and I doubt of goin’ up in the club after. Another thing...I don’t have someone to pick me up on my crib to accompany me goin’ there for a cab ride. Honestly I beep up some, just to make few attempts. Phew..Sorry wrong timing. Bump! But I gotta be there...I’m the one who got that idea of party rockin’ single chick for that sickening valentines night blah. I dressed up hustily, retouched...there I go. Uh-oh when I’m finally there, I’m so wide awake in intense upon seeing the club. I missed it. Oh My...I’d enjoyed, though it’s not a wild & flirty night on me...no hot guys that much. Hmmm maybe they’re out in dates. Just enjoying the music dj’s playing as we booty shakes, head bangs, jumping and clapping hands up to the beat...yeah I really loved it. What a valentine experience ugh...singles still rule! LOL!

By the way, I got here something you should check out: Fun Ideas For Single People On Valentine's Day Go Gals start it out.

Can't Resist

After our petty conversations few days ago, I didn’t expect he would say that. I just can’t explain how it hurts knowing that he had her girl already. Burst of bloody pains run out my veins all throughout my body. My heart is crying though my eyes are dry. I wanna cry it out loud. I’m so damn broken. I know I got no reason to react ‘bout it. It was just so maddening to feel this way. I know he’s not a no-good. But...why I’m so him that much? 

Next day I used to go over her profile...find out what happened! OMG! This sucks...Its oh-so-true. He had his girl already and seeing that picture together crashed me so much. I don’t know what to do. I was locked out in shock. I’m wondering how long really that was taken ‘coz it’s just a few months ago since we’re in touch with crappy flirty things. It’s just a few months ago when I used to believe with his pretty word not knowing it was all lies. But you know what...I feel like I was a nitwit. Imagine, what the hell I was thinking after all? I still hope...damn! I know it should not be like that. I should not feel& react that way. Gross. Can I let somebody poked me up from this cranks?

We Are Who We Are

Normally, we got an impression with a person the first time we meet them. Their gestures, their physical appearance, and how they talk. Those impressions give us that specific distinction of our personality. Those impressions will give us our personal integrity, our personal value. And those impressions will be the basis on what treatment others bestowed on us. The thing is...what makes a positive impression to be the first that will last?

My POV is that...sometimes this is not really a sure enough thinking. I guess being more of ourselves will always be the best answer. Oops wait...by the way, being our selves is not that just easy. We tend to be out of our minds, everything of us actually, especially when we’re with that someone we like, we see someone we admire, we meet someone that makes us flicker. Isn’t it so awkward that we feel conscious? We’re now trying to be who we are not. Being in the state of consciousness make us uncomfortable. The way we act seem to be unexpected. We can’t concentrate. Hmmmnn...sidesplitting!

Another thing...be confident & flash a smile! We can smooth things out of how we deal with such personal consciousness through confidence. Take note – just don’t overdo it. There are times also that we might feel mousily strange and it’s normal. It’s kinda cutie...phew, and a little demure at the same time. Well, throwing up a simple smile will blew out people to give their impression positively. We tend to feel attractive and beautiful. That smile is a foundation of building up confidence. Who knows...someone is in love with your smile hehe.

I always used to keep in mind that impressions defines us, so better take off your shoes and express yourselves then flicker us with that oh-so-lovely smile, though we know we can’t please everyone...at least...we are who we are.