When Love Sucks...

Your honesty slapped me on my face really bad that it bruised immediately. I felt disrespected. I don't deserve to be treated that way. Yeah, I appreciate how you told me what's the truth, what's your real intention. The worst thing is that...what made me allow it for you to hurt me the second time around? Why??? What's wrong with me that I always messing up on instances like that? That I always taking risk on something not worth it. That I always end up loosing this game of love. What's with me falling in love with the wrong person as always? Ugh, that really sucks.

In the first place. I know what you're goin' through. I know you're still hurt. I understand how you engage yourself to try to be bad sometimes. You take revenge. Well, a bad revenge that others got in trouble with you. Got hurt from you. It's so unfair. I'm trying to help you but you just keep so silent on that. I always believed that you're a good person, that I'm open with anything, knowing for sure that it made you misinterpreted me as a person. I know you know that I'm not that kind. Not a typical woman who get into shits. 

I keep tryin' to get rid of you, on people like you...on the feelings I always used to feel. How come I hardly can't??? I can't. Love sucks. 

TOP TRAITS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP

I just wanna share this interesting article I found out while browsing the net in a heavy traffic street on my way back home. TBH, I've heard & seen on some write-ups this so called Myers-Briggs before but I don't have any idea what literally this really is. You will discover different types of personalities, not just yours but with others too even to those you LOVE. Who's not curious what traits they have, isn't it? Well, whether you have or haven't yet that special someone, this will help you find out what traits you want in a relationship. So here we go...take time to check this link to find out more what I'm talking 'bout Myers-Briggs-Types-Love-Relationships. I also included Free Test for you to try Myers-Briggs Personality Test. Enjoy & happy reading.

Specially for You

I remember so vividly

How you look

the first time I saw you

My heart beats so furiously

As I hear your voice

Saying "How are you?"

I don't know what to say

I just look you in the eye

Til you flash your smile on mine.

After few hours of staring

And you do most of the talking

I can''t help but keep on laughing

Oh and we're now comfortably teasing

I don't know how it happen

That we ended up together

I don't know how it's been

Feeling that seems like forever

Time really flew so fast

My feelings grow much deeper

Love shown with so much blast

It shines like a glitter

You gave me a right reason

To live a life worth living

Guide me with your lesson

You're really worth loving

Thank you for accepting me

Coz I know I'm not that perfect

Thank you for loving me

Coz for me you are so perfect.  

#Ghosted

     I

     As the morning comes                             
     When I woke up
     I open my eyes
     And I look up
     I felt the sadness
    Your name popped-up
     I just then realized
     Missed you so bad.

 
  II                                                                                     IV

  I open my phone                                                             We're in rhyme
  I found nothing                                                               When we started
  No messages shown                                                        In a bit of time
  I hold my breathing                                                        Things were twisted 
  Thinking all alone                                                           Got me in a dime 
  There could be something                                               Been enchanted
  It's been so strange                                                          Believing you're mine
  Everything changed.                                                       Oh...I'm ghosted.

  III                                                                                    V

  I'm wondering                                                                  Came the night
  Could be a nightmare                                                       I'm still waiting
  Am I dreaming?                                                               Finding the light
  But I'm so aware                                                              I keep hoping
  Blinking my eyes                                                             Just to feel right
  Covering my ears                                                             Gotta be going
  I see sweet lies                                                                  'Til I close my eyes
  Heard trembling gears.                                                     Memory flies.

Burstout

#ImLovaholic_Burstout

I came to this part where I just can’t move

Telling me something that it’s not that good

Gotta be sitting still like I’m ‘bout to breakout

I’m gasping to catch some air all throughout

But all I can hear now is my heart’s crying

Damn! It was so loud that I gotta be fainting

How insane it is that it kills me inside

It bleeds through my veins and I just can’t hide

Got from a stab that hits straight through mine

Seems like I’d been shattered down the line

I’m trying so hard to fight this pain I feel

For I know that I’m so weak and it’s hard to deal

Didn’t thought it would end in such a mess

Didn’t thought believing in such a haste

Holding on to that gold chain cloaked with rust

‘Til I notice my fingers are burning in gust

I cautiously loosen up myself from that grip

Left me with bruise and mark that etch so deep

Shallow mind, irrational decisions, baffled emotions

I’m almost crashing from the limit of my dimensions

Read Her – Signs That a Girl Likes a Guy

It’s a pathetic thing for a guy to read a body language that’s why girl’s actions play a hard part from guys POV most of the time. Well, it’s a guy’s nature that they just can’t easily decode on what’s goin’ on with a girls head, what she’s tryin’ to mean, what she wants to convey.

IKR, girls mind and actions are kinda complicated. It changes very quickly and guys have a tough understanding ‘bout it. Opps wait, don’t be confused – read her. There are lots of signs but here, I came up with major signs summed up for you guys to watch out on us girls.

1.       Eyes – our iris dilates which denotes interest. So ya better practise on looking on our eyes.

2.       Smile – most of the time we’re smiling and laughing like LOL even with boring topics or lamest punch lines.

3.       Voice tone – unusual voice pitch on a high note to be noticed when you talks to us but we’re totally oblivious ‘bout it.

4.       Convo – we’re keeping up with the convo. Sometimes we don’t replied back so quickly ‘coz we wanna let you chase on a tease esp. when convo is done thru text/chat.

5.      Actions – we’re kinda tensed (blushing cheeks, palm sweating, stuttering talks, deep breathing, random touching of hair and a bit nervous)

Expectations Hurt

It just hurt so much knowing the person you already liked didn’t met your expectations. Expectations on things that they should be doin’. Expectations on things that they should be showing. Wow! Hail to EXPECTATIONS...such a big word ugh. You know what? That expectation...that expectation hurts. It really hurts and it kills me inside AF. I felt like I’d been crushed, I felt betrayed, I felt hanged all over again. I can’t understand what the heck is goin’ on. Every time that I like someone they failed me. Expectations failed me. Phew. I don’t deserve it BTW. 

Wall-Widepapers.NET

You might ask “Why did you expect anyway?” I retort you in a question like “If someone gave you something to expect, would you expect anyway?” For me, saying yes to that expectation is like saying yes to chances and saying yes to risks.

Look, I let them feel appreciated the moment they show interest on me. I did my best to show that I do care the moment they show concern over me. I used to trust and gave them a chance the moment they want to prove something. I do constant convos which certainly mean that I gave time and it’s not a wasted time anyway. Voila, I took the chances and risks. Duh, isn’t it obvious that there’s an expectations I’m watching over them? I’m kinda skeptical. I know they knew it. C’mon, just few things from the usual expectations and to spell it out: it’s being consistent, it’s being sincere and it’s not giving up. WTH, it's normal to expect for those right? OMG this is insane. I don’t know what’s wrong but the fact is...they STOP! I bummed out and I expect that they don’t let me feel that way. Of all the things I’m expecting from them, there it is. Still, I ended up in woe and misery. Oh gross! Expectation sucks and hurts when it fails you. Sorry...I know there’s something wrong from expectations. What can I do then? I’m just a fallible human being. I expect knowing it would hurt. Sorry, I cared too much, I take risks...I fell damn in love.

Things Women Wish Men Knew

Mostly men don't understand women. They usually came up with confusions into questions like-Why are they like this? Why are they like that? What do they mean? blah blah blah. Yeah, the differences. Men and women have a lot of differences especially the "Wants and Thoughts." Men knew it but they just don't understand it. Here, I found these articles below very interesting. You guys can check this out to really know the answers hahaha!

10 Things Women Wish Men Understood

10 Things Women Wish Men Knew

25 Things Women Wish Men Knew

Guys, Effort Please!

marianakalil.com.br

How do guys get a girl these days? They do it so easily right? I mean no sweat, no effort. Well, IKR...no wonder, everything goes out with social media. You can make friends with a girl you seen online that you find pretty, cute or stunning by hitting up that ADD FRIEND button. You can easily chase what’s goin’ on ATM with the girl you’re admiring by just hitting up that FOLLOW button. You can get connected with the girl you’re into by chatting her, get her digits, go out for a meet up... and there ‘ya go---see what happens next. That’s so, so real quick. A guy can have it all in a short period of time.

TBH, I understand these days, time flew fast and searching out for a potential relationship through social media is kinda an edge to give it a shot. Even it’s been miles away or on the other side of the world, a guy can likely get a girl. Hmmm, one thing I just notice is that guys take this for granted. You might say...just guys? Srsly?  Yep, of course! Still, guys should initiate right? Well, they forget what an EFFORT means. An effort to show the real motive, to show the respect, to show the sincerity. Damn it... that’s what girls anticipate, an effort. It’s a must and guys should be mindful of that. Girls often are kinda tenuous when it comes to feelings. We can easily snag by guys tricky moves. It’s inevitable. IKR, it’s a girl thing and it could be guy’s implication for a sloppy intention. Guys, take a note...it doesn’t work all the time, so don’t be at ease with that though. Ya know what, usually these guys befriend a girl, get into that petty convos, afterwards where now? What the heck? They’re here now, tomorrow they’re gone. Sometimes in the middle of nowhere, without even hitting them into our head, they suddenly beep us up. Phew! They might say, I just wanna know how are you...I just thought of you...I got nothing to do, ya know-a little bored blah blah blah. They might think there’s an effort in there, ‘coz they keep in touch. I might say that’s effort inconsistency. Such a big sigh. So guys, pls. don’t mess up. If you want a girl, it shouldn’t be like that and I know you knew what should be. 

You Don't Even Know

askmen.com

I got into that complicated situation wherein I ended up questioning what had happened, in short, I was left hanging. Well, guys are just so inconsistent AF. Here I got this message personally composed for that guy who didn't even know how he made me feel. There ya go:

You don't even know that you keep me waiting. Honestly, I dont get it. That moment you just ended it up right away. That gave me a big sigh. I used to ask myslef, what the hell is wrong with you? I don't even see something wrong I've done anyway. Oh such a crap, you keep me guessing. You can talk to me and say something instead of letting me just hang there.

2.bp.blogspot.com

You don't even know, this made me crazy. Checking my phone from time to time to see if you have seen my message already or if I got a message from you. This is so disgusting.

You don't even know, I can't help it. This is insane. My mind's so puzzled. How come, with those moments we keep the conversation goin' just faded hazily. It's unfair on my part 'coz I don't know what's on your mind. So please...I wanna hear from you soon.

An Open Letter from a Wishing Star

bnarchives.yorku.ca

This is not a heart break letter. Don’t worry. Nothing to break, ‘cause we? ------ No Commitment. Just issues.

Honestly, I don’t know how to start this. What words to choose, what paragraph to compose. Technically, I’m not good in writing.

The whole ride was totally fun! It was memorable, full of what ifs, full of smiles. And I know, I may have that fun in my life again, I know this is better for everyone involved.

       I feel total guilt about the disrespect I have shown to you, to her, and especially to myself. It’s time for me to step-up to the plate and quite acting like I don’t know the difference between GOOD and BAD.

My thoughts: “If you really want to love her, then you shouldn’t be messing around me. You should put all your time and effort into giving your relationship the attention it needs. And you can’t do that if I’m here. “

        My eyes have been opened. We BOTH deserve more, and it’s clear neither of us will find it in one another. Giving up doesn’t always mean you are weak; sometimes it means that you are strong enough to let go.

           

        I’m gonna smile like nothing’s wrong. Pretend that everything’s all right and act like it’s all perfect. Love was the greatest gift we have received, yet Love also brings the greatest pain we have to endure.

           

        One day when we least expect it, we will find that thingsare less painful. I was and will be forever amazed at how much my heart can bear. And yes, you and I will be grateful for all that we have lost and for all the things that we will find, in the RIGHT TIME.

      “Each night I put my head to my pillow, SMILE and telling myself I’m strong because another day has ended without YOU.”

It’s Complicated

You know what? You may find it so insane, but this always comes to my mind. Mostly, guys, these days just wanna have fun. It’s so true right? When it comes to love, it’s a game. When it comes to relationships, it’s complicated. Errr, they’re such a dense. Sorry this sounds so mean. But, why they prefer to get into that damn complicated relationship then? Why do they love playing games? A game that says...whoever falls in love first will lose or a hide & seek scenario. C’mon such a freak! Well, I still understand them anyway, it’s a guy thing though, and it’s their nature. I know playing games is fun & should be enjoyed. There are rules also to be obeyed. I know also that in the end, there should someone to win but the real point is...it’s more of a win-win situation wherein both opponent gain. It’s the reward...the lessons & experience. Every girl knows that of course. Hmmm, but in this kind of relationships---taking such chances by trying, playing with feelings, enjoying the waves of every moment until such time wherein it goes off beyond the limits. Damn...this is sickenin’. It should not be that way. I hope guys should take in control over every action they’re taking in. Guys should know how to stop it. Guys should know how to close the door that very moment, on the first step they risk in opening it. Girls do are kinda weak when it comes to feelings that’s why most guys do take advantage of it. Girls also have that powerful instinct and very well in reading body languages. So every action a guy makes might be misinterpreted.

Having entered into a complicated relationship is easy & smooth at first, but as time goes by, it’s getting harder & harder until it breaks. Especially when that relationship is not getting into the right track as it goes by; when you feel it’s gonna work no more; when there’s only one who’s willing to continue building it; when beforehand, it’s complicated already & both of you just wanna try. Then when it gets worse, you got nothing to do but to shout it out, just to release the pain, the hatred that burdens you so much. I know there are few who make this relationship work, but honestly, I know you do know too...it really takes so much pain before you gain from it. It’s riskier ‘coz you don’t know where it’s leading. There’s no plan at all.  It’s a take it or leave it situation. It’s not really an ideal move by a gentle guy. Every girl wants to be treated as they should be, as a real girl, as a lady, as a woman and guys should always be aware of it.

Can't Resist

After our petty conversations few days ago, I didn’t expect he would say that. I just can’t explain how it hurts knowing that he had her girl already. Burst of bloody pains run out my veins all throughout my body. My heart is crying though my eyes are dry. I wanna cry it out loud. I’m so damn broken. I know I got no reason to react ‘bout it. It was just so maddening to feel this way. I know he’s not a no-good. But...why I’m so him that much? 

Next day I used to go over her profile...find out what happened! OMG! This sucks...Its oh-so-true. He had his girl already and seeing that picture together crashed me so much. I don’t know what to do. I was locked out in shock. I’m wondering how long really that was taken ‘coz it’s just a few months ago since we’re in touch with crappy flirty things. It’s just a few months ago when I used to believe with his pretty word not knowing it was all lies. But you know what...I feel like I was a nitwit. Imagine, what the hell I was thinking after all? I still hope...damn! I know it should not be like that. I should not feel& react that way. Gross. Can I let somebody poked me up from this cranks?

A Quotation

There was a time I wanted to beep on with friends. So I thought of sharing them somewhat weird but cool-Friendly phrase. It made me laugh. Check on this original quotation of mine that I’d sent:  

“#100% Quaranteed Physically or not:

Keeping in touch

means

Keeping relationship

alive.

So...

More touch...

deeper connection.”

I come to think. How does it sound like? I ideally got nothing to express but pure “hi or hello”. Some find it the other way. It’s so funny. I didn’t imagine they may view it that way. As I had a second look at it...whoops...there might be. Oh my...it’s kinda relatable but don’t take it literally then, it’s purely the other way around. Hmmn, not so big deal neither. 

Honestly I emphasized the phrase of “keeping in touch”, the word “connection”, which really means a lot to me. It’s one way of valuing a relationship, isn’t it? It’s one way of showing your care and appreciation. It creates trust and openness. It creates joy and love. Hey, it’s just one beep & it doesn’t waste so much time to keep in touch, to say hello, hi, how are you? It’s just once in a year to greet someone on their birthdays, to say Happy Valentines, Merry Christmas, Congratulations & greetings on other special events. Even in our busiest days, despite our distance, an unfathomable feeling of gratitude & significance that we might give to someone if they get one of it from us really count. At the same time, you feel the same way too. You know what, it’s guaranteed...an assurance of great connection is there and it’s always worth to do it. I guess you know how it feels like then right?  Those words of compliment and endearment remind us that we are really connected with that someone who appreciates and give value to our existence. It means how important that person is to us. Building a great connection means building a great relationship. 

So...what you gotta do...start building up your relationship, pick up your phone now, beep in that important person(s) to you & see what might happen next. 

Caution Guys

“Be cautious on your actions, we might fall” I have already my opinions before about theuncertainties I have in mind. It’s just that my files were losts on my phone. Anyway, I really wanted to clear it up. I can’t get over it unless i’ll spell it out.

Just wondering...aren’t you guys not aware how you deal with your actions with us girls? How you treat us? How you communicate with us? I’m saying...in a special way. Are you aware that itmight seem to be the other way around for us? I know you guys don’t know how to interpret a body language...not so well.Aren’t you aware that girls are sensitive about your actions? OMG...it’s so clear, it’s obvious and it’s in our instinct. We got it.But...why sometimes it doesn’t seemed right? Or...you knew it but you just play safe? I don’t get what you think on that point. 

Take note on these:  when you let us laugh often...we fall, when you share stuffs on us often...we fall, when you show care on us often...we fall. Those endearments keep us sensible. It gives a huge impact on our expectations and doubtfulness at the same time. We really walk and go with the flow, then suddenly slip...and fall unknowingly over those wishful thinking. It’s really an odd. It’s hard to escape from it honestly. We need to pretend just to turn things out well as usual for the sake of saving what we have been through together. It even a tough things on us girls.Don’t you think of it? Try to figure out. CAUTION PLS.

Go Crazy in Love

               

Smile…smile again…smile again, then laugh. That moment when you think of someone you’re inlove with…you just can’t help but to SMILE! You tend to be out of control and focused. Face to face with the person  you love…you effortlessly blush, the butterflies in your stomach, the sweating of the hands, and drying of lips…you feel being in CLOUD NINE…uh-oh! What a crazy stuffs…isn’t it?

                The ability of our mind in wondering and doing such crazy things is very aggressive when we’re in the state of being InLove. Reasons??? There are lots, based on experiences, psychological reasoning and science studies.

           

              It is proven based on experiences to feel that kind of craziness when we’re in love. Although people seemed to hide it…the fact that they just can’t control it, or they just unaware on how they act that way and realizing they got out of their minds often…you just can’t explain.  Your friends might notice you of being a little damn weird. Your friends might question you, “How come you like him/her …very opposite to your ideal partner?” You might feel being such extraordinary in a mundane world ever, and you’re happy though.

                Psychological studies also provide proofs on what’s with love that make people crazy. It’s more of people’s behavior of thinking regarding our feelings of love. Our instincts and observation with the person vary immensely that influence our decision of love. It’s reading on someone’s thinking and feelings to portray love.

                “They have a chemistry” that’s mostly used to designate partners. Science discoveries have the greater explanations about love. Love---it’s all in the chemical contents of our body. The chemical reaction explained greatly as best proof about love. Feelings and actions explicate. (Check this out) Love Chemicals

              What more can I say??? It’s all in ours! Love is in our selves. Love is life! Enjoy such craziness over love. It’s fun to deal in with our weirdness. There’s no life without love…so it must be crazy love ’coz life is a little looney.

Spot the Difference (Dating and Courting)

                Before ... I got confusion between dating and courting thinking they’re just one. As I go browsing and reading and analyzing and understanding about this topic, I’d found out and realized that... Yeah right they were related with each other but they’re having those specifically distinguishing differences.

What is dating? 

              

                It’s a “getting to know each other” stage. It’s the first step in terms of building up a relationship between opposite sex. It starts when a person specifically a guy get attracted to a girl. The possibility to push through it by constant communication and hanging out together, get them involved in dating. Dating develops mutual interest forming a relationship. Dating means relationship. It’s not literally to be labelled as it is to be... still, it’s a matter of what’s within. Relationships may either be intimate or sexual. It’s intimate when it involves constant and mutual understanding. It’s sexual when it’s more of physical with no emotional attachment. Meaning, it’s kinda...relationships for trial??? (Think,think) I guess...if it works out or not. It may either be short or long (but not too long) term.

What is courting?

           

               The term courting usually misinterpreted to be same as dating. No, it’s not. Courting is a “settling down” stage. It comes after dating that grows in deeper and mature relationship, in a more serious type and stable form of relationship. It’s a continuous dating leading to engagement wherein the guys works out for the possibility of marrying a girl. Both parties talk not just for themselves individually, but themselves as one having one goal for their future. It’s building a wider relationship where a guy goes over in knowing and pleasing more of a girl’s circle of family and relatives. Courting is where real love blooms with acceptance and respect. It’s a relationship in a long-run.

Why Not???

Friends do tease us,

But we just smile,

Letting those words fly.

Our eyebrows on high,

That day pass by,

Confusing...why not try???

Looking everywhere,

Searching who’s in here,

Too far...why not just we???

Sounds strange,

To step on that stage,

Turning life’s next page.

I don’t know,

If it’ll gonna work though,

Guess you too don’t know.

It was so funny,

Can’t imagine...corny!

Haha...seems like crazy.

Let’s just see,

What turned out to be,

Why not...you and me???

Do You Believe in Love (Lust) at First Sight?

                 Check this out:  Do you believe in love (or lust) at first sight? Wohooo...a wildly discussion question ever since. Yes...No...Yes...No...Love...Lust...Love...Lust. I’d so much fun reading every comment here and there about this topic.

 

            My point of view falls on...LUST at first sight! It’s kind of a vintage concept when we speak about love at first sight. It was so fictional. Today’s generation is full of excitement, fun and games. People are more innovative, creative and adventurous. So how come it’s gonna be in a split of second knowing love comes in a deep sincere thought. Although time changes...opinions also change. Beliefs, clichés and attitudes toward feelings stirred up. The idea of first love at first sight is so universal wherein people used to define feelings of admiration, affection and lust as love.

            Confused??? What is love??? What is lust??? What's the difference between lust and love? Lust is a sort of prerequisite condition of love. Love at first sight seemed to view for its possibility only based on how people think and believe about it. You may say you believe in love at first sight because you believe in love and you feel something to a person the first time you saw him/her. Yes...love is so real though that you can’t even hide from it. It makes you go crazy over it, it’s magical, it’s confusing...it’s the weirdest feeling ever. I do too believe in love...of course. But, do take note that real love is the deepest feeling we have. It comes in stages of feelings to come up with that what we called love...the real love!

When you speak of loving at first sight? It’s kinda awkward that you might just keep questioning about it ‘coz it’s really so skeptical. It’s not really love you feel in just one blink. You are just hypnotized by that physical outlook of a person. It’s lust. You got deceived by your thought believing it’s already love. Yah!...it’s love though, but it’s not the true meaning of love. You may also foresee that “Its gonna be him/her.” with no conviction, without a doubt, wherein you feel that electrifying connection with that person...and you stick with that belief. It’s just a result of our so called “creative imagination”. You can’t just know whose gonna be your future. Still, to play off with our imagination will help us to create our desires. That‘s not an instant situation then, so you can’t just say it’s love at first sight. It’s all last at first sight. Don’t be confused...because love is a Lust Of Vast Emotions. See...lust is within love. Love is in the inner part of our feelings.

Guys Love Girls in Words

            Guys have convincing power in words for girls. They’re really sophisticated. It sounds so perfect. Whatta crazy stuff. I’m always mesmerized how it works. So I come to view in their horizon and observe some possibilities. Words are not enough though but why guys love girls with just wordsss??? Check this out:

• 1.       Guys’ nature – They are born to be such an expressive people especially when it comes to liking girls. It’s part of their way to win over for love. Complimenting girls just come out in them naturally. Blowing in for the right word sounds so magical wherein girls used to be blind folded. Although it’s green-eyed for us girls knowing guys can only do it that way...it’s incomparable.
• 2.       Guys’ deal – Guys are easy going when it comes to love. Boys trifle over girls on love. Through their words. They just go with the flow and enjoy that ride. They do love giving compliments. The fact is that, their egos enhances when they praises a girl they love. It’s kinda awkward then not to mean those words. Words where us girls just read and hear...not see nor feel in actions.
• 3.       Guys’ vagueness – Words use for love by guys are their reflection of uncertainty. Their minds are wrapped up with undecided decisions on whether they really love the girl. Such communicating with their feelings through words are used sometimes in a hilarious way of playing safe to please girls on their hazy intentions.
• 4.       Guys’ shyness – This techy generation is an advantage for a silent-type guy to clearly spell out their feelings to a girl through words. Though they can’t speak to it directly...they type it in through text messages and chats. Mostly, they prefer to involve in a ranging networking sites. They can fearlessly express their feelings with conviction in there.

All these instances are usual situation. Expressing feelings through words are helpful to win for love, they’re effective and proven. Still, the best way to prove love is by showing it with a genuine and perseverance efforts. Love is not just a WORD...it’s an ACTION WORD. So guys...you better shut up...just move!