You Got Me on HIGH

I have lots of people I used to admire from simple crushes to super like to love...oops, not that one I guess, it’s infatuation. They makes me smile, brighten up my gloomy days and makes me a bitzy crazy. I came up with this song composition as a reflection of those feelings. I’m not a song composer nor a singer, I just love to write. Well, the outcome??? I find it a little bizarre TBH and I love it. I have the voice memo already. The beat is kinda mixed of millennial pop/rnb/edm 'coz it's my preferred music genre but I’m still working on how this be put into an actual music unless...can someone volunteer to help me out with that? Haha. Hopefully to download it here very very soon. In the meantime, take a look down on these electrifying lyrics. Wish you like it!

I

The moment

I see you

My world stops spinning, my time stops running

I got intoxicated by you

II

As you get closer

over me

My heart keeps beating, my body’s screaming

As a poison spirit runs over me

Verse:

 And when you flash

 that smile...i...ile

Been captivated for awhile...

Chorus:

And I

Just can’t deny

This feeling of mine

Oh I’m on high

But I still gotta try...yyy

No I just can’t hide

Think I’m gonna fly...yyy

Yeah I’m on cloud nine

Coz you get me on high...high

You get me on high...high

 III

The moment

You look at me

Can’t help believing, seems like I’m dreaming

Those flashy eyes strikes intensely      

IV

Then I hear your voice

Yeah you talk to me

My gosh I’m blushing and I’m stammering

How irresistible this can be?

Bridge:

Coz you got me on high...iiiggghhh

You got me on high...oh oh...oooh, yeah

You got me on,

You got me on high

You got me on---

Expectations Hurt

It just hurt so much knowing the person you already liked didn’t met your expectations. Expectations on things that they should be doin’. Expectations on things that they should be showing. Wow! Hail to EXPECTATIONS...such a big word ugh. You know what? That expectation...that expectation hurts. It really hurts and it kills me inside AF. I felt like I’d been crushed, I felt betrayed, I felt hanged all over again. I can’t understand what the heck is goin’ on. Every time that I like someone they failed me. Expectations failed me. Phew. I don’t deserve it BTW. 

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You might ask “Why did you expect anyway?” I retort you in a question like “If someone gave you something to expect, would you expect anyway?” For me, saying yes to that expectation is like saying yes to chances and saying yes to risks.

Look, I let them feel appreciated the moment they show interest on me. I did my best to show that I do care the moment they show concern over me. I used to trust and gave them a chance the moment they want to prove something. I do constant convos which certainly mean that I gave time and it’s not a wasted time anyway. Voila, I took the chances and risks. Duh, isn’t it obvious that there’s an expectations I’m watching over them? I’m kinda skeptical. I know they knew it. C’mon, just few things from the usual expectations and to spell it out: it’s being consistent, it’s being sincere and it’s not giving up. WTH, it's normal to expect for those right? OMG this is insane. I don’t know what’s wrong but the fact is...they STOP! I bummed out and I expect that they don’t let me feel that way. Of all the things I’m expecting from them, there it is. Still, I ended up in woe and misery. Oh gross! Expectation sucks and hurts when it fails you. Sorry...I know there’s something wrong from expectations. What can I do then? I’m just a fallible human being. I expect knowing it would hurt. Sorry, I cared too much, I take risks...I fell damn in love.

Things Women Wish Men Knew

Mostly men don't understand women. They usually came up with confusions into questions like-Why are they like this? Why are they like that? What do they mean? blah blah blah. Yeah, the differences. Men and women have a lot of differences especially the "Wants and Thoughts." Men knew it but they just don't understand it. Here, I found these articles below very interesting. You guys can check this out to really know the answers hahaha!

10 Things Women Wish Men Understood

10 Things Women Wish Men Knew

25 Things Women Wish Men Knew

Guys, Effort Please!

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How do guys get a girl these days? They do it so easily right? I mean no sweat, no effort. Well, IKR...no wonder, everything goes out with social media. You can make friends with a girl you seen online that you find pretty, cute or stunning by hitting up that ADD FRIEND button. You can easily chase what’s goin’ on ATM with the girl you’re admiring by just hitting up that FOLLOW button. You can get connected with the girl you’re into by chatting her, get her digits, go out for a meet up... and there ‘ya go---see what happens next. That’s so, so real quick. A guy can have it all in a short period of time.

TBH, I understand these days, time flew fast and searching out for a potential relationship through social media is kinda an edge to give it a shot. Even it’s been miles away or on the other side of the world, a guy can likely get a girl. Hmmm, one thing I just notice is that guys take this for granted. You might say...just guys? Srsly?  Yep, of course! Still, guys should initiate right? Well, they forget what an EFFORT means. An effort to show the real motive, to show the respect, to show the sincerity. Damn it... that’s what girls anticipate, an effort. It’s a must and guys should be mindful of that. Girls often are kinda tenuous when it comes to feelings. We can easily snag by guys tricky moves. It’s inevitable. IKR, it’s a girl thing and it could be guy’s implication for a sloppy intention. Guys, take a note...it doesn’t work all the time, so don’t be at ease with that though. Ya know what, usually these guys befriend a girl, get into that petty convos, afterwards where now? What the heck? They’re here now, tomorrow they’re gone. Sometimes in the middle of nowhere, without even hitting them into our head, they suddenly beep us up. Phew! They might say, I just wanna know how are you...I just thought of you...I got nothing to do, ya know-a little bored blah blah blah. They might think there’s an effort in there, ‘coz they keep in touch. I might say that’s effort inconsistency. Such a big sigh. So guys, pls. don’t mess up. If you want a girl, it shouldn’t be like that and I know you knew what should be. 

OMG

OMG, it's Emoji Pins!
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My eyes gets frozen like OMG

Whenever I see you, I’m shock with glee

My face flushing, I just can’t hide

Holy crap! You’re on the ride.

My heart beats loud like OMG

As you come closer, I’m trying to flee

It’s kinda insane, I’m on that flame

Oh, so damn! I’m on this game.

My mind so strange like OMG

It’s you, and you...how could it be?

Can’t help but to smile when I think of you

What the heck?...what would I do?

Everything sounds like OMG

The feelings I have keep drowning me

This is hilarious, its mind blowing

Hell yeah! Think I’m falling.

You Don't Even Know

askmen.com

I got into that complicated situation wherein I ended up questioning what had happened, in short, I was left hanging. Well, guys are just so inconsistent AF. Here I got this message personally composed for that guy who didn't even know how he made me feel. There ya go:

You don't even know that you keep me waiting. Honestly, I dont get it. That moment you just ended it up right away. That gave me a big sigh. I used to ask myslef, what the hell is wrong with you? I don't even see something wrong I've done anyway. Oh such a crap, you keep me guessing. You can talk to me and say something instead of letting me just hang there.

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You don't even know, this made me crazy. Checking my phone from time to time to see if you have seen my message already or if I got a message from you. This is so disgusting.

You don't even know, I can't help it. This is insane. My mind's so puzzled. How come, with those moments we keep the conversation goin' just faded hazily. It's unfair on my part 'coz I don't know what's on your mind. So please...I wanna hear from you soon.

Crush Problem

What would you do if your crush knows that you like him? Awkward isn't it?

That feeling of so ashamed.

That feeling of so conscious. 

That sweating of the palms

That heart beating fast.

That stuttering talks.

That feeling of so tensed. 

I never thought I would feel that way. Really, he's just my crush. Imagine- CRUSH. OMG! What's goin' on?

Well, it's kinda a Crush Problem though.

Hmm...with that, I came up checking over some of the videos here DatingLogic just to find out how to handle this.

Guys, Be Gentle!

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One morning, I got this awkward-thing-experience…Luckily, he’s a cutie and I never used to think on “Stop Me Please” rejection. I really know what he’s up to, though I pretend I don’t mind. OMG…and I got that heart beat faster and faster. I feel like I got a little hotter and hotter. My blood overflows on my vein throughout my body furiously. Felt like I’d been struck by lightning. Shocks…what the heck is that? Whoa…I need to breathe in. This should not be like that. I have to clear up my mind to get rid of that sickenin’ thing. Gross! I don’t know what to do until I just blew it off. Well, that’s how it all went out. I then came out with a conclusion that,

 “Sometimes you might felt electrified in just a second without any intention to an adorable guy next to you, but considering to feel his gentleness as you are close to him makes him the best.” 

That was so fascinating. Well, well, well…what does that guy have that made me flicker then? 

Loving You Hurts Me

     

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     You know what? I always think of this... why on earth do I used to make such a space for you? As in always! With just one “hi” from you, I responded so quickly. With that just one text, oh gosh, I can’t help it. It really makes my day. You really mean a lot to me.

     Then I found out one day that I must stop this insanity. Why? You got a girl already. It feels like my heart was pierced by a bullet. I felt like I’d been betrayed. I felt like I’d been duped. I felt like I used to be such a fool for you. It’s hard. A part of me was blown away by so much pain. Husssh. I don’t want to sounds like I’m an option. I conditioned myself to ignore you, not to think of you. I’m trying really, I keep trying.

     Well, honestly, I did it. I did forget you but just for awhile. Hell yeah “for just awhile”. That was so damn, you know. I thought that I’m already over you. I thought that I could finally make it, to let you go, to really forget you. Such until my phone beeps. Opps, I got sms from you checking me how I was. Suddenly my eyes flickered, my lips started to form a smile. The back of my mind reminds me that I shouldn’t. “Hey, remember? Can you stop it, please?” Hmmm...I know I’m kinda naughty. I still replied. Yep, I replied. I used to act as if it’s just a usual convo, that this can’t be more than what it is expected to be , that we’re just friends. Oh gross, got nothing to say. The thing is...I’M STILL HOLDING ON. That moment you beep me up, everything messed up again and it sucks. That was so reckless. I always missed and always want you. 

     Time has passed, our communication keeps on going. I’ve noticed that you’re already available. Haven’t seen your girl on your facebook timeline. So, I used to go with the flow...and let’s see. Then here comes again the reality. This time, I’d been so sucked up. That moment when we got some sort of agreement and with that I need to ask you something as a condition. The question that slapped me with so much hurt. I ask you if you’re available and you said “I’m not.” Remember? You lied the second time. You make me believe with your sweet talks. Make me believe with your kind concerns. Make me believe that there could be something more from us. I can’t understand myself on why I keep holding on to something I’m not sure of to where it’ll be goin’. Why I keep holding on to the feeling that was uncertain, especially on you, on what you want to happen, on what you want from me. You really upset me. I wanted to cry but my eyes were dry. My heart beats slowly just like I’m running out of my breathing. I really don’t know what to do. Wanting you so bad was like screaming out of pain. I pitied myself of being imprisoned with that feeling I have for you knowing that at the end of the day...we can never be together. I almost forgot to keep in mind that I deserve more than you and I should love myself more than you. My friends once told me to let go. Yeah, I know they’re right but I also know that it’s not just easy. Honestly, you know what? loving you is like hurting myself at the sametime. Hope you realized ‘coz I wanna get over with this mess so soon. 

V-day and What?

It's Heart's Day again. Love, couples, flowers, chocolates, dates- the back of my mind says...so what? LOL. Sounds bitter ugh! Just kidding. Well, I'm single and there's nothing to expect 'bout it anyways. Also, I don't have much plan actually. ATM-I'm just with my phone hovering those feeds, got over my computer and doin' some write ups, I'm with cousin watching movies. Let's see what might happen later. Hmmm, this day is not just for couples right? Hell yeah, enjoy the day, enjoy the weekends. Here, check this- got something to share, I found out this, as I go over some articles... A-Single-Girl's-Guide-to-Valentine's-Day. This is cool. It will give this ordinary day some omph. Oh hey! I also inserted an article worth reading, a sort of Valentine-facts. Weird-Things-You-Didnt-Know-About-Valentines-Day.

It Started with a Pic

I got this one glimpse story and this seemed to be a little magical. Yeah, it’s a night with colourful skies full of stars & fireworks. A party shot w/ my cool friends. Here...I never thought of this cutie guy asking to take a picture with me. I recognized him before but I just didn’t mind that much. Yes...I know he’s really cute. I just smiled at him & yeah alright...I took my nod over him when he was introduced with me. Of course, it’s a peculiar scene. What’s so funny is that...I don’t know...but there’s a spark between us. Goshy, this is crazy. It made me smile, not just a smile but a grin. I can’t hide it. I knew my face suddenly turning a little reddish at that moment & so on. After that one click from his cam, he asked for another one. Looking over his phone, whatta smile...he got that very awesome smile. I think I’m frozen. My world stops in awhile. Yeah, honestly, all I see was him & me. This is kinda an XO, ‘ya know. Until such time we need to part. It’s time for me to go even though I don’t want yet. I gave him my goodbye. There ‘ya go...I can’t help it. I still have that smile all over me. He’s so damn cute. I can’t sleep immediately thinking of him especially his smile. This really sucks. Then as I woke up the next morning...c’mon, he’s the first person in my head. I don’t know what to say. I’m hoping to see him again & bond with him again so soon. What a fairytale moment...isn’t it? Oh my...I love it.